I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
