you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
