What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
