I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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