new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
