two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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