i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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