Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize