I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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