I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
