Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
