Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
