Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
