So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
