So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
