The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
