Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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