I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
