Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
