...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
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