Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
