I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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