Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Bring me that man meat
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
