im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
