did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
