I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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