I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
