Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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