Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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