i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
