Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
