Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
