I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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