if you like me you must not know who I am
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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