Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
