Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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