He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
