Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
