oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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