I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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