so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
