I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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