He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
