i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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