We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
dude. I can hear the air.
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