I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
