Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
