So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
