girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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