Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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