my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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