My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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