Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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