People in love make me want to vomit
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
