You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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