I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize