Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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