I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
