do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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