Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
