Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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