i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We left an ass print on the piano.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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