doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
