no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
