I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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