Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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