Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
