If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
