i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she woke up with a sticky ear
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
